About Almost Spring

This is all about transforming my life from ‘we’ to ‘me’. I am 59 year old woman surviving the pain of the collapse of my 37 year marriage that occurred suddenly through no choice of my own. . . I survived the first six months by living in today and enjoying the moments of a glorious summer. . . . the beautiful sunrises that have beckoned me each day . . . . the views to the valley . . . . walks through the forests . . . . .listening to the birds. . . .spending time with my family. . . .

When that first summer ended, when the days became shorter, the mornings colder and I could see the winter approaching. . . I began to wonder how I would survive the darkness, the cold, the grey skies and the impending gloom of winter. Then I thought to myself – ‘why?’ It is almost spring. With spring comes hope, the birth of new flowers, warm days again and blue, blue skies. Winter is simply the path one needs to take to get there.

So too with my current life situation. What would I achieve by wallowing in the depths of a winter of loneliness and despair? What would be the point of sitting here mourning the loss of the supposed sunny happy-ever-after ‘we’ that is gone? Instead I could choose to move forward towards a bright new future as ‘me’.  I resolved on that day it would be the start of my transformation, my 40 steps from ‘we’ to ‘me’, one step for each year of our time together. At the time, I did not know how long each step would take and I did not know what the steps would be but I did know that I would get there. I wanted to keep my own core beliefs, hold onto my dreams and not let what somebody else chose to do drag me down as a person. At that moment it was approaching winter; it was cold, dark, and despairing; and yet I could see that it was almost spring.

Update 09 January 2014

A forty year marriage is not something easy to let go of. It took me 40 steps (weeks) to emotionally let go of ‘us’ as a couple and another 40 steps to find myself. Along the way I have been celebrating in life’s joys and gradually ridding myself of the layers of my old life that are no longer serving me a purpose. During the process I stripped myself down to my bare inner self, reaffirming my values, beliefs, attitudes and responsibilities. This led me to having an epiphany underpinned by a desire to transform my life.

Now, I am looking forward to a completely new life and am beginning to rebuild a new outer being. Divorce has provided me with an opportunity to create and transform my life into something really outstanding. I  would never before have dreamed that was possible. I feel optimistic and enthused about the new life I am creating.

 

51 thoughts on “About Almost Spring

  1. yes yes …. go for it … thats the right thinking … :) … you seem to be a strong woman … you can do it … in fact … we can do … we females are the best !!! :):):) sending you a big big smile to brighten your days a little bit.

  2. Hi Elizabeth, thank you for following my blog, I do hope that in what I write positively contributes in some way to you to taking a brand new step forward. Lots of love, Clarabelle

  3. Hello Elizabeth!

    First I want to thank you for following my blog. You are my first and will not be forgotten. Second, I want to thank you for sharing your steps on becoming you. You are not alone in this and you will get through.

    Love & blessings,
    journalofasinglemom

  4. Wow, I’m sorry to hear about the abrupt end to your marriage. I can’t begin to imagine…. But thank you for choosing to follow one of my blogs (http://smilekiddo.wordpress.com/) – I truly appreciate it. Hopefully it can help give you some things to grin about as you find your way on your own.

  5. You definitely are a very strong woman! If you ever feel lonely..remember your friends here in the blogging world are always there for you and I will be one of them :) Hugs, Pri

    • Thanks for dropping by. I am from Australia too. I cannot imagine being away from all my children. One of my four has moved to Canada and that is hard – but it does make for great holidays! It must have been a difficult decision for you – yet exciting as well. And with skype and such-like now and cheap air-fares, it is a little easier than days gone by. I have enjoyed your posts. Keep writing, you do it well. Take care. .

      • Thanks Elizabeth. Right now I’m missing everybody terribly despite loving being with my partner. It will be easier I’m sure when I get to know a few more people. Divorce is tough. Take care of yourself and keep up the writing. It’s a great way to get through life’s challenges. :)

  6. Hi Elizabeth!
    Writing is a wonderful tool for healing. I think it’s a beautiful thing that you are brave enough to share your experiences and emotions, so that as you heal, you help others do the same. Blessings for the journey.
    Love and Light, Nicole xx

  7. Blogging, journaling, writing down your feelings during the hard times AND the joyous times is a great companion and better than taking a pill.
    You sound like a very strong woman and I know without a doubt that you will get through the dark valley of your divorce and come out of it a better person. The journey is definitely hard but the destination is so awesome! You have lots of support from us like-minded women out here!
    Sending cyber hugs in great, fluffy bunches,
    Intrepid Woman
    Alberta, Canada

    • Thanks for stopping by and for your kind comments. Yes, i have found blogging to be an outlet and the support from fellow bloggers is AMAZING. You too seem positive in your outlook and I wish you well :)

  8. Elizabeth,

    Acceptance and forgiveness require such strength. Just the opposite of what many think.

    The open and honest way that you express your feelings is so powerful. You are helping others who struggle.

    This work, I hope, is helping you as well.

    Tom

    • Thanks for your kind words and your encouragement of my writing. I really appreciate it.
      I had not thought of my blog writing as ‘work’ before, or that it may be helping others. That thought in itself is an encouragement to continue.
      I do know that as i write, and then ‘publish’ a post; I am better able to let-go of that aspect of my grief. So in that way it is helping me to move forward.
      If that is also helping others, that is my reward.
      Thanks for stopping by.

    • Thanks for the nomination. I am most honoured.
      I look forward to checking out the other blogs on your honour list.
      I will acknowledge the award on my blog over the next few weeks.
      I have now had some time to check out your blog in more detail. It is inspirational. Thanks again. :)

  9. From ‘we’ to ‘me’ is a very worthwhile journey. You’ve taken charge. Sounds like 40 steps lighter, to me.

  10. Pingback: My first year and 100 posts | Almost Spring

  11. My mother (and our family) is going through the same thing. Women like you and she are so incredibly strong. My heart goes out to you and best wishes on your journey

    • Thank you so much for stopping by. I really appreciate your words of encouragement.
      May your mother find the courage to get through this gracefully and with her dignity intact….
      That is certainly my own aim.
      May you also find your own peace. Late life divorce throws young adults into a tailspin of feeling responsible for their parents at a time when (normally) the stable parental unit is the one supporting them. A role reversal which is one that takes some adjustment.
      My mother and I went through the same thing when my Dad passed away when I was only twenty. Mum struggled for a few years but grew strong over time and eventually became the matriarch of our stable extended family. I am grateful for that huge support base for me now and look up to her and how she handled that crisis and survived. My daughter looks at that extended family too and feels…. all is not lost.
      thanks again.

    • Hello. I am not fond of the word ‘journey’ either. However, when all forms of normality have been lost, it has definitely helped envisioning that I am moving / travelling / progressing towards something more positive and away from the dark hole into which I was thrown. One day I will work out where I am actually heading :)
      Thanks for your comment. I really appreciate you stopping by.

  12. I really admire your courage and inspiration. I hope that by using this blog and the medium of writing, it has helped you to in some way make sense of the life that you are now living. To be able to hold your head up high and chart your journey takes a massive amount of courage and I truly wish you all the best as you continue on in your new life. :-)

  13. Pingback: Springtime after divorce | Almost Spring

  14. Hi Elizabeth. I sympathise. It’s a shock to be suddenly ‘me’ – until we start to realise how much of ourselves we’d given away, and emabark on rebuilding the person we once wanted to be and lost along the way. I’m sure you’re well on the way by now!

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