Week 16 – Embracing singledom

Week 16 – 06 January 2012
A relaxing Christmas came and went. I so enjoyed having the family home and being kept busy while they were with me that I did not stop and dwell on the changed family dynamics. In fact it felt really great that the children and I were all together again sharing happy family times. Instead of a sadness that I was expecting, there was happiness, laughter, joy, peace and contentment.

After the family left, I was alone again but I now accepted my aloneness. I not only accepted it, I began revelling in the time to myself. I kept myself busy setting up my new life as a single person. I rearranged things the way that I wanted. I organised myself. I focussed on me and got into a good routine of waking early, writing at my desk watching the sunrise over the valley, eating a healthy breakfast, going for a brisk morning walk, then domestics, shopping, cooking and other normal things. It felt good. Only when you have been through a tough period, when those ‘normal’ activities do not come easily, when you are literally dragging your feet every inch you take, only then can you appreciate how great it is when you become light footed again and you can once more go about your normal daily pastimes with a spring in your step.

One day I even noted in my journal that I enjoyed hanging the washing out neatly in a row and I was singing! I thought then that perhaps I was going just a little bit crazy admitting that I was actually enjoying putting the washing out. However, I think it was the absence of the oppressive feeling weighing down on me that was lifting me up and triggering my tuneful song, rather than the fact that I was revelling in my domestic chores. 

I repeat to you all that I was getting up at dawn to spend a few hours at my desk – and I was writing, Yes writing. I had found a new passion. I was really enjoying it, It was not just the fact that I was writing, it was the fact that I was revelling in the writing and revelling in the fact that I could take the time to write whenever I wanted for as long as I liked on whatever topic I wanted to write about. And I was revelling in getting up at dawn and I was revelling in watching the sun rise above the valley.

I was free, free to do what I wanted.

23 thoughts on “Week 16 – Embracing singledom

  1. Pingback: Week 17 – Days like this | Almost Spring

      • “I repeat to you all that I was getting up at dawn to spend a few hours at my desk – and I was writing, Yes writing. I had found a new passion. I was really enjoying it, It was not just the fact that I was writing, it was the fact that I was revelling in the writing and revelling in the fact that I could take the time to write whenever I wanted for as long as I liked on whatever topic I wanted to write about. And I was revelling in getting up at dawn and I was revelling in watching the sun rise above the valley.”

        —— i always have my camera beside me. revel on the tangerine or pink skies.. 🙂 and staring wide eyed like a little kid..i had to be careful though.. so that the neighbors wouldnot mistaken me for a “looney”…

      • I like that. Yes, your posts are fantastic, interweaving your photography, with your poetry, with your writing and your story. still have not been able to work out how old you are or whether you have children ….:)

  2. Yes, I too am convinced that your saving passion will be writing. You’ve captured the feelings of pain so clearly that, as you imply, the dawn and the summer will bring you light and warmth.

    • Thanks. I am writing this blog a bit behind events. When I started – at week 26 looking back to week one – I actually intended to be upbeat and positive and to skip quickly across to the present time. However, when I started reading my journals and putting it down as a blog the words started flowing – and so the difficult days have stretched out on paper. You are right in finding a passion in this writing. It becomes addictive and I can do it at all hours – a luxury of aloneness that I never had before. Keep well with the sailing and I look forward to more photos soon. …

      • So true. Keeping an open mind helps us through all sorts of difficulties. I believe writing is tremendously therapeutic; you are struggling with the thoughts to get the right words, and that in turn helps us to see beyond the pain. There is a sort of bizarre pleasure in seeing the hurt on paper, or the screen, in that for some reason, our inside hurt is diminished because we’ve expressed it. When you wrote about how the face to face encounter was no longer traumatic, we knew you were well along on the path to recovery. Here’s to a happy summer for you.

      • Thanks. Writing it down does seem to help you let go. Although it is the depth of winter here (Australia). Shortest day of the year tomorrow – things will hopefully then start to look up as, of course, it means it is almost spring!

  3. I am sorry for not doing my homework; please flunk me on my geography test 🙂 You had me so wrapped up in the details your personal story that I considered you as a virtual, even with a number. Or perhaps it”s because you express yourself so clearly that you speak for everyone at any time who has ever lost a loved one. Yes, today, the solstice, the sun’s apparent motion stops still, and after a pause, starts south again. So at was in the autumn season that you were reaching so many of us with your words; you have many concerned comments too. Thanks once more for taking the time to come by and give me a poke.

    • Thanks for stopping by and your much-appreciated comment. My other giveaway to my background as I write of autumn (fall) and as I am travelling (traveling) along the paths I am learning to favour (favor); as I organise (organize) my own life and begin to empathise (empathize) with fellow travellors (travelors); it is not that I have missed out on primary (elementary) school education; but rather that I am quite stubbornly refusing to give in to the computer’s spell-check!
      Enjoy your sailing …it looks fantastic. 🙂

      • Oops, it’s always been a weakness of mine not to go back over my work, sort of like rushing out of the house without tying my shoe laces. If I’d made so many mistakes sailing –tying bad knots, not giving priority to other vessels, mixing up stars in celestial navigation – I’d be a goner by now. But if you are asking if you could correct my numerous mistakes with your editor, yes indeed, I’d be delighted. And yes, I should write under ‘Word’ and paste to the reply window.

      • Hi there. No I was talking about the fact that I am Australian and my computer keeps trying to make me spell the American way, so all my posts have all these spelling mistakes in them because being stubborn and patriotic I can’t spell travelling with only one ‘l’ or favour without the ‘u’ etc 🙂

      • Terrible that creeping American culture, what are we to do? Your words flow so smoothly that we hardly see them — the thoughts are what jump off the screen, not the letters and words. It must be due to those tranquil early mornings in Australia when you do your creative writing. It’s refreshing to watch you climb back up.

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