My gratitude list

Yesterday marked 52 weeks since my husband left me. I spent the day at home by myself. Friends were concerned this was not a good idea, that I may spend the time feeling sad about my losses. Not so. Any losses are his – not mine.

I realised I have gained so much, especially the realisation there is so much in life for me to be grateful for. I decided to mark this occasion by listing them.

  1. I am grateful for my four beautiful children, daughter-in-law and grand-daughter; for their support and love, for their optimism for my future, for their enthusiasm for their own future.
  2. I am grateful for my 85 year old mother, my three siblings and their families, and for the values instilled in me by my family of courage, determination; and of doing the ‘right thing’.
  3. I am grateful for the opportunity of being able to see my extended family and families more often.
  4. I am grateful for those of my friends who provided a shoulder to lean on, a helping hand when required, flowers, cards and someone to cry my heart out to.
  5. I am grateful for those of my friends who didn’t, for you have taught me tolerance.
  6. I am grateful for being able to agree on a peaceful property settlement.
  7. I am grateful for the opportunity of spring-cleaning the house and property.
  8. I am grateful for ridding myself of truckloads of “stuff” as it holds no meaning to me.
  9. I am grateful for all the space in my life where “stuff” used to be as in its place now is clarity and purpose.
  10. I am grateful for the opportunity of now living a life rich in meaning every day.
  11. I am grateful my love of living a life of meaning has not been crushed from my soul.
  12. I am grateful for the opportunity to watch the sunrise beckoning me with hope and new beginnings every single day.
  13. I am grateful for my valley, for the mist in the mornings, the kookaburra’s laugh, the birds songs, the trees and the flowers.
  14. I am grateful for my good health and current level of fitness.
  15. I am grateful for the determination – when I apply my mind to it – to improve my level of fitness to that which ought to be.
  16. I am grateful that I still have no grey hairs.
  17. I am grateful to the policeman who dropped my licence demerit points lost from 3 down to 2 when caught speeding in the early days post separation when I was driving the four hours to see my children.
  18. I am grateful for being stopped because I was quite distraught and really should not have been driving. It was a wake up call that when driving – no matter how bad I am feeling – to focus on my driving.
  19. I am grateful to the man in the supermarket who gave me some small change when I had not taken enough cash to buy veggies for my soup. On the lowest of my low days, you touched me with your kindness.
  20. I am grateful for the tradesmen who assisted me in the clean-up of the house surrounds and the refurbishing of upstairs.
  21. I am grateful for the refurbished pine kitchen table rescued from the top shed replacing the trestle table used for the past 11 months.
  22. I am grateful for the memories of family life around the kitchen table.
  23. I am grateful for the opportunity of making more memories around the table.
  24. I am grateful for now being able to live my life the way I want, rather than by somebody else’s standards and values.
  25. I am grateful my own standards and values have not been compromised.
  26. I am grateful for being able to write in my journal and in my blog.
  27. I am grateful for all the blogging friends I have made, for the support and encouragement shown to me.
  28. I am grateful I have come this far in seeing myself as a single identity, and no longer as half a couple.
  29. I am grateful that I have survived my first 52 weeks alone.
  30. I am grateful for the courage instilled in me to embrace my life going forward as an adventure in discovering me.

28 thoughts on “My gratitude list

  1. Beautiful, Elizabeth, absolutely beautiful! And as I said yesterday, I’m quite certain there are many more wonderful discoveries ahead. 🙂

  2. Amazing. Encouraging. Delightful. Strength in its truest sense. A blessing.
    Things I feel describe you based on the picture you’ve given through your heart poured into words. I have followed your journey from the start, and pondered your perspectives as I have endured my own path of separation. There is a great and peaceful future in store for you…what an amazing job you are doing at reaching out to grasp it wholeheartedly.

    • So pleased to hear from you again. Thanks for your encouragement. I am gradually finding peace within myself and beginning to stride forward again.
      Still, I accept that there is still a long road ahead of me.
      I hope that you are fairing well now and managing your own changed life. Best wishes.

  3. Good for you!!! I find it interesting, it’s about 52 weeks for me too since the ex moved out of the house… I can’t remember that time very well so I don’t know the exact day… scary…

    • Yes and I find it interesting that even though we are at different life stages (with my children older than yours) we are approximately at the same ‘stage’ of separation emotionally – pondering the aspects of life as we see it and our own likes and dislikes; and also trying to face the bigger picture. (two of your last three posts).
      Best wishes to you for the journey ahead…..

    • Thanks. It would have been so easy on reaching the 52 week ‘milestone’ to have looked at the empty half of the glass, but the full half is so much more uplifting and rewarding.

      As an aside; I read somewhere on your blog that you manage to keep up with your blog-follows by mainly reading those posts under 700 words. (I thought that a good guideline and now tend to do that myself). Long story cut short, you have NO idea the struggle I had to keep this list to 700 words!!
      Especially once I started thinking about it – and realised there is so much really to be grateful for!

      Hugs to you too 🙂

    • Thanks. There is so much in life to look forward to and be graeful for.

      Also, thought I would let you know that when I started blogging, initially I only followed ‘divorce’ blogs, then gradually as I came to a better place, I began following blogs with positive messages, then blogs with quotes and songs and poetry.
      I am glad to have found your site and I can now add photography to the list of uplifting things that people do.
      Thanks ….

  4. This is beautifully written and so encouraging!

    I’m having a tough time finding a job, let alone one with health benefits. It’s very stressful. But I am learning ways to stay positive and deal with that stress as I keep trying to reach my goal of my little home in the senior community. Learning new ways to handle stress– that can be nothing but a plus!

    Thanks for the big picture and good for you in appreciating your big picture!

    • Thanks for your comment. I too am striving for some financial security and that is one of the biggest challenges (AKA ‘stress’ :)) that I now face. It has kept me sane having other people’s blogs to follow; and reading about similar experiences or reading about suggested strategies and techniques of how others have managed to get through the maze. It gives me great comfort knowing that I am not alone. Thanks for staying in touch.

      • Celebrate- definitely! I too completed 52 weeks of separation a few days back though my marriage was a short one of nine months and horribly abusive. That said I cannot describe the sense of freedom I have felt since the day it was over, being in control of my life and every choice I make. Exhilarating to say the least.
        You are extremely strong to stand tall after all this and many thanks for a wonderful post, definitely uplifted my spirits 🙂

      • Thanks for stopping by and for writing such a kind comment. I have looked at your blog and find you show much courage. I am sorry you had to endure so much heartache and I wish you well with your new found ‘freedom’. 🙂

  5. Pingback: Coming Home to Calm | Almost Spring

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