I am ……. as old as I am

I had a cousin who was killed in a car accident on his 21st birthday. He never graduated, never married, never travelled, never had children…….

I had an aunt who died from cancer at age 33 years old. She never had children, never owned her own business, never moved interstate, never wrote a book……

My father died of a stroke at age 49. He never saw his children graduate or marry, he never knew any of his grand-children, he never retired.

From where I am sitting there is still much that I have to face in my life that is difficult ……. being cast aside…….. being alone…. losing my plans for the future …….. having a depleted asset base from which to begin again………

However, being aged 58 years is not added to this list. It is just the age that I am.

Yes, it is difficult coping with the feelings of betrayal at age 58 … but this would be difficult, the hurt would be the same, no matter what the age.

Yes, it is difficult to suddenly be left alone at age 58 …. but no more difficult than a young mother left alone with young children. No more than a child being left by an abandoning parent.

Yes, it is difficult starting afresh with a depleted asset base at age 58 ……. but no more difficult than people who lost money in investment scams… no more than others who have lost money in failed businesses… no more than people who have needed to use their assets to fund a medical condition.

All of these issues are difficult situations for anyone at any age. The truth is that in order to overcome them, they need facing, they need dealing with. Thinking they are more difficult because you are a certain age is just an excuse to put off facing what needs to be faced.

My age has nothing to do with the difficulties that I now face. My age actually benefits me as I have a grounded experience in previous hard times that I have survived. So I know that once difficulties are faced, they cease becoming difficulties and turn into challenges. Challenges are invigorating and give you a reason to get up in the morning. Being the age that I am, I am better able to apply my past experiences to the challenging times ahead. Rather than facing difficulties I now have challenging goals …. embracing aloneness……becoming financially independent ……. of staying true to my values.

Whenever I start to think things are difficult ‘at my age’ …. I stop.
I remember to be grateful for the age that I am.
I remember to be grateful to have come as far as I have come.
I remember those loved ones who did not get this far in their own journey.
I remember to be grateful for the opportunity to continue my own journey into the future.

31 thoughts on “I am ……. as old as I am

    • Thanks. Whenever I start to think that life is slipping away from me, I always think back to my cousin who died young and he was closest to me in age and I think of all that he never experienced. I keep going for him. Even the tough times don’t seem so tough then. Thanks for the comment and thanks for staying in touch 🙂

    • Thanks. yes, it is just a number. Whenever I think I am not up to things because of my ‘age’, I think of my 85 year old mother who is still actively involved in the community and still writing history books….. one is never to old and it is never to late to do what you can do.

  1. You have a wonderful positive attitude. I felt pretty pathetic when, at the age of 64, my husband announced his intention to divorce me. It’s taken me a long time to be able to think as you do. I still can’t do it consistently. Good post.

    • My little secret is that I don’t all the time either but I try and start out by pretending that I do and then with the philosophy of “fake it until you make it” ……..eventually it will all just come naturally (that is; being OK with what has happened).
      Thanks for your comment

    • Thanks for stopping by and for your encouraging comment.
      I have looked at your blog and it is such a tribute to your mother. What a gracious and wonderful thing to do.

      Have a great weekend……

  2. I think you are spot on – my mom was one of those gone too soon – my life may not be perfect, but I think about how much she missed and how lucky I am to be here seeing all life has to offer.

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  4. Counting our blessings is always a good way to start and end the day! I always say, I lost my job due to not reaching my Master’s in time, because my ex lost his job as I struggled with teaching and serving people at Cracker Barrel, taking classes and lost our house,…but my neighbor in the next classroom died of cancer at age 43. I can live with a manual labor job, I can live in an apt. and be on my own, without too many times of being sad… We are lucky and blessed! Great post!

    • You replied to me before about your changed circumstances. It is really supportive for me to know there are others who have been through similar circumstances and who have survived. You inspire me to continue and to appreciate what I have and who I am. Thank you.

  5. This is excellent, Elizabeth, just excellent. I got retrenched last week and thought, “At my age, who will want to hire me”, but had to rethink that. Had to stop myself – I was going down, down, down with my thoughts.

    How very timely, this post 🙂

    • I hope that your retrenchment does not set you too far back, although I am sure it would be distressing at first.
      It is so hard to stop ourselves falling down when something such as this happens to us. But you have an inner strength and I KNOW that you will find your wings and fly again.
      Best wishes 🙂

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