About eighteen months ago I was in a phase of playing inspirational songs to make me feel better and my favourite one at the time was ‘I am woman’ by Helen Reddy. I happened to mention it to my accountant who laughed telling me that as I was an intelligent, capable, resourceful woman. Therefore he could not understand why I would need to play inspirational songs to make me feel better.
It is impossible to describe the crushing effect the ending of my marriage had on my self-esteem. Whatever self-respect and self-confidence I had before was completely shattered in a single moment. It was not only that my soul-mate and companion of forty years had chosen someone else over me which crushed my self-worth as a person and who I felt I was. The action of him walking away from our life together made me feel that I did not matter and everything I had ever done for him and with him was of no significance. Everything I had poured my heart and soul into was of no worth. If it was worthwhile, why would he walk away from it?
For two years I had let the message given to me by his actions and words become the voices in my head telling me that I did not matter, telling me that what I did was of no significance. I now know that those negative voices are not my voices and what those voices were saying was not the truth.
This is the truth:
- I am significant because I have raised four magnificent children who admire and adore me.
- I am significant because I am fair and kind; and always show respect, empathetic listening and understanding to others.
- I am significant because I stand up for my beliefs.
- I am significant because I have provided employment and valuable services to the community for 35 years.
- I am significant because I have journeyed my divorce with grace and dignity.
- I am significant because I have been the one entrusted with taking the property settlement to its conclusion and I have done that with integrity and fairness.
- I am significant because I have fully embraced aloneness.
- I am significant and an individual person entitled to my own thoughts, beliefs, feelings and needs.
- I am significant because I have offered inspiration and support to blogging friends.
- I am significant because I have helped others through personal issues.
- I am significant because I encourage others to be their best selves.
To get to this point of really believing that I am significant, I have been fortunate to have had loved ones, friends, blogging followers; and professional advisors who have kept reminding me of how significant I truly am over and over and over again.
Thank you to all who have had a firm belief in me and my abilities and have helped raise me up to this point of feeling immense pride in myself and my significance. In turn you may all feel proud of your own significance in helping this individual turn a corner.