I have changed my mind

ID-100170157 - master isolated imagesI have changed my mind on a few issues surrounding my divorce.

(Disclaimer: My apologies to all those in happy, healthy, monogamous, caring, understanding relationships with partners who love being together and yet who give each other space to be individuals.)

1. Previous thought: I was abandoned.
New thought: I was set free

2. Previous thought: I have no-one to protect me.
New thought: I have no-one to hold me back.

3. Previous thought: I have suffered intolerable losses of assets and income.
New thought: I do not have to stress about what someone else is spending.

4. Previous thought: I am alone in making tough decisions.
New thought: I am able to make my own choices – on absolutely everything.

5. Previous thought: I do not have a soul-mate to share my life with.
New thought: I do not have to compromise on anything, especially values and beliefs.

6. Previous thought: I am trapped in this prison between past and future.
New thought: I am in this wonderful place of now.

I am free. πŸ™‚

 

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Image courtesy[master isola]/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

 

58 thoughts on “I have changed my mind

  1. I am inspired by your blog We have similar stories Mine will also touch on all the crap of despair losing a family through divorce. but my journey may be enlightening yet cautionary tales of dating after divorce. The stories will shock yet uplift a woman to being significant and capable of creating a life with or without someone besides them

    • I am looking forward to reading more of your story. I read your first few posts and it could have been written by me … those first few days … each step was a struggle.
      best wishes. πŸ™‚

      • Yes. Too many of us thrown into this. Mine was a 30 year marriage. The obstacles of future family events are always going to be there. Wedding gs grandchildren. Everything has been altered. That family fabric tattered

  2. Love this! At its most basic, it’s the choice to focus on new beginning vs. ending. And the ending is done and gone. The new beginning is the exciting bit, right? πŸ™‚

  3. I love this shift in perspective and how you see the world now. Elizabeth. It was a lot of inner work… and look at the rewards πŸ™‚
    A whole new free and big hearted life is there for living!!
    Val xo

  4. This can speak to so many out there, such a change in perspective! Every day you are finding out new strengths and discoveries within yourself! I am on board with all of these, there may be times I would like to share my life,but I won’t compromise some of my freedom, I love the Kahlil Gibran quotation about two Cypress trees being strong growing tall beside each other, also never being in the shadow of each other.

    • I had not heard of that poem. I looked it up. It is a classic masterpiece! Thanks for sharing that with me. What the poem says is SO true, about being together and yet apart. I think all the romance books and movies of having “soul-mates” and being intertwined is not how it should be. In that respect, I certainly do have a different outlook now.

      • Thank you for saying you looked this one up, Elizabeth. I don’t memorize poems like I used to, so this really makes me happy that you enjoyed Kahlil Gibran’s poem. My brother and sister in law used it in their marriage ceremony. I think you and I both have changed and grown, in the past 2 years. I made many more mistakes than you did, Elizabeth. I feel much better now that I have been on my own for 8 years now. Dating sometimes is fun, but even this can be tiring or unsatisfactory. I have a lot of energy and enthusiasm for family. I have learned not to need anyone but wish someday to share my golden years with someone, ha ha! Maybe I will just have male and female friends, one never knows! smiles!

      • Yes, I agree with you that I think we have both grown in the past two years. We have come from different positions (you dating and me shying away from that) and ended up in the same spot (happy with being alone – for now).
        It took me a while to get to that place of contentment, after having people around me on a daily basis. Thanks for sharing your perspective with me.

      • I am adding to this with a brief comment about loving the words you said, “I am in this wonderful place of now.” I think you could write a poem with this lovely title or words that make you appreciate where you are at, after all you have gone through. Just saw your comments on the postcards story with my Mom, Elizabeth. I was surprised I missed yours and others, too. Take care!

      • That comment of yours made me think. In my first week of pain I had written in my journal ‘I have been stripped of my past, robbed of my future and thrown into the twilight zone of the present … one painful moment at a time.
        Thanks dear friend, for pointing out how far I have come, with the pain gone, and celebrating “now” in all its glory.

  5. How I know those feelings!!! I’m so happy for you that you are there now!!! It is so freeing when you come to the realization that it was all for the best. I feel like thanking my ex everyday for setting me free!!!

  6. I’m just sitting here at the beginning of my day feeling so happy for you. Thank you for the inspiration!

    BTW “Previous thought: I do not have a soul-mate to share my life with.
    New thought: I do not have to compromise on anything, especially values and beliefs.” may be a paradox. You will attract beautiful people with such purity of presence

  7. THIS needs to be framed or put in a card for other women going through the same! I’ve always said that nothing is a waste if it can help others! We all go through crisis in our lives but there is always something positive to be gleamed and you my dear have taken the best from something that I am sure was of great sadness in your life and found an opportunity in it!
    Just think…. if you can do that in the worst of situations… what wonderful things must be right around the corner for you in all your happy times to come!!!!!
    xoxo

  8. I am so glad that you stopped by my blog because it made me check yours out. This post is really inspiring. It is amazing how if we change our way of thinking, we change our world. You did a wonderful job of doing just that with your situation. Great post! You just gained yourself a follower! πŸ™‚

  9. #3 resonates LOUDLY with me… since the separation and the finalized divorce, I have had a balanced checkbook to the PENNY! I haven’t bounced a single check either. Small victories in my eyes. Congrats on changing your outlook on things. It shows strength.

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